“Winter Cleaning” – How To Rid Your Life of Toxic People

Have you ever found yourself questioning a personal relationship with someone – or multiple people – in your life, due to a shift in who you’ve become?  You, all of a sudden, see someone for who they truly are – in a different light – and realize, it’s not as pretty as you had once thought?  It’s one of the most interesting things in my life that I have begun to analyze – and, quite recently, it’s been happening a lot to me.  When I find lessons being learned in my own life (based on personal experience), I usually feel the need to offer them up to other people, in hopes that it gets their wheels turning.

Today’s lesson being shared: How to see those toxic relationships, acknowledge them, learn from them, and move on to more positive relationships (you know, the one’s you’ll actually benefit from).

1. Listen To How People Speak About Others :

7b7ec8dd74741c27ddef8aa066be9c54Have you ever been in a room with someone you think is going to be a positive influence in your life… someone you find yourself wanting to learn things from… and all they do is bad mouth the people around them?  Know, in that moment, the best lesson you can learn from them is what a toxic environment feels like.  People who CONSTANTLY bad mouth others are toxic people, and often, not happy – and, let’s be honest – who needs that in their life?  Trying to build others up by knocking other people down is doing nothing but forming a negative environment.  I learned this the hard way.  I’ve been that person who sits in a room, listens to the negativity and due to craving the attention of those people (who I thought could help better my future), I feed into it.  I have been that person who has felt the negativity so strongly that I turned into that type of person.  Lucky for me, I have allowed myself to grow from that and realize that in order to get places in life – negativity is NOT the key.

Take Away:  You may have to work with these types of people, or live with these types of people – but it doesn’t mean you have to BE that type of person.  People who badmouth others to make themselves feel better about who they are are toxic people.  Work with them, live with them (if you must) – but don’t take it to heart … don’t become that type of person.  Let it go.  Take what they say and how they say it with a grain of salt, and move on to the positive people and moments in your life.

 

2. Live Your Life – Embrace The Mistakes & Stay Positive:

You will rarely find someone that thinks exactly like you, because no two people are exactly alike.  I mean, that’s what makes life interesting, right?  Everything that you do, or say is done and54400671605f9725e98f83ff85a5a0aa said because it’s what YOU want to do or say.  Other people may not agree with the way that you live your life – but, that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Some people (healthy people to have in your life) will hear you out, let you try things out and offer friendly advice.  Toxic people will continuously be negative if they feel differently about something.  In those moments remember that it is YOUR life – and that if YOU feel what you are doing is right, then for you – it is.  Sometimes, mistakes are made and lessons are learned – but, that’s what helps us grow.  Put in your head that mistakes are made to form growth opportunities – they are made to help you learn more about yourself and the world around you – they CAN be a positive thing, as long as you learn from them and apply what you’ve learned.  Toxic people will always look at mistakes as a reason to badger people and bring people down.  Let them be the negative ones, but don’t let their negativity keep you from living your life and being happy in it.

Take Away:  Plain & simple – Live your life for you … and embrace every moment. Be proud of what you accomplish, and brush off the negative comments.  Life will only be as good as you allow it to – and no one else should have a say in that.

 

3. Don’t Take Negativity Of Others To Heart – Shift The Way You Think:

Growing up there was that lovely phrase “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” – remember that?  Remember saying it to kids on the playground, and still feeling hurt 5eb3cbc6ad13f82658f9252c6fc1c8d0anyway (but you were REALLY trying to convince the bullies otherwise?).  As we grow (or, at least as I grew up), you find it harder and harder to ignore things that have been said about you.  You find them eating at you and thinking, “why would people say things like that – ESPECIALLY when they don’t know me OR the whole story?”.  There have been so many times in my life when I felt down on myself because of what someone else thought, or said about me.  In the past those statements have brought me endless anxiety, sleepless nights and the constant need to work harder to prove people wrong.

Over the last few weeks (really, last few days) I’ve had this revelation (that I wish I had a LONG time ago).  People are going to say what they want, they are going to believe what they want, and they are going to treat you how they want (especially if it makes them feel better about themselves) – but it’s up to YOU what you do with all of that.  Personally, I’ve decided that negativity no longer has a place in my life.

Take Away: Challenge yourself to counteract the thoughts and actions of naysayers.  People are going to say, do and believe as they wish but it does NOT have to ruin you or your life.  What people say, do or believe does not change who you are.  Be the positivity in your own life – surround yourself with people who lift you up, and those that are consistently negative will virtually seem nonexistent.  Free yourself of the negativity.

 

So – with all of that being said, as you begin to see people in a light that you view as toxic … if you see that those people are bringing nothing but untruths and negativity to your life … free yourself of them.  Life is too short to be presented with people who are trying to bring you down. 

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This is my life… In Progress,

-Kristin

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Wishful Thinking…

So here I am, anxiously awaiting the results of my acceptance or denial to my first choice Grad school… and hating it.

I thought submitting everything super early, and being proactive would be great … everything would be in and done, and ready to go and the weight would be off of my shoulders.  Boy, was I wrong.  I checked my status today, and they haven’t even processed my stuff yet.  The application due date isn’t until November 11th, which means I’ve got a little less than a month before they start even LOOKING at the applications.

As if my anxiety isn’t bad enough- now I have to sit on the edge of my chair, and continuously check my application status as if something is going to change and a the words “ACCEPTED FOR SPRING 2012” will magically appear.

Wishful thinking.

This applying to Grad school stuff is rough.  I’ve been keeping myself busy; I got a job at a restaurant, I got licensed to become a Zumba instructor and I have an interview to be a part-time bank teller in 2 days… that should be enough to keep my mind off of my application status, right?

Wishful thinking.

All I want is to get into Grad school, get a great Graduate Assistantship, learn everything and more about the field I want to work in (now that I finally know what it is I want to do with the rest of my life), and create the foundation for a great future for myself.  All of that lies on this future acceptance letter (hopefully).  I keep telling myself that maybe they’ll look at it early and make an early (positive) decision…

Wishful thinking?

I guess we’ll see.

This is my life… In Progress

A Revamped Blog, For A Revamped Lifestyle…

You grow up thinking life is going to go one way – and before you know it, it’s headed in a completely different direction.  My change of direction came from the unfortunate circumstance (so I thought) of being let go from my last job.  However, after really analyzing the situation, I’ve recently come to see it was nothing but a blessing in disguise.

This blog is now just like my life … REVAMPED. Previously social media and PR, and currently on the road to somewhere new.

You’re supposed to love what you do – not be miserable on a daily basis.  Sure, every day won’t be rainbows and sunshine – but what’s the point of working somewhere there’s NEVER rainbows and sunshine?  Life is too short to be miserable.

After losing my job, I wasn’t the happiest person on the face of the planet ( I mean, who would be?).  All I could think about was the lack of money to pay the bills, the lack of things to do during the day (I cannot sit in my house 24/7 – I am way too fidgety for that), OH .. and the pure fact that I was unemployed didn’t make things easier.  But, after 24 hours of feeling sorry for myself – I decided to take the negativity, get rid of it, and do something positive with my “time off”.

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m going back to school (well, I hope to be) for Higher Education: Administration. So many people, in that field, inspired me in college – and I’d like to be able to pass that on… so, I’m going to :).

It still stinks to have no money – but, I’m working on some part-time opportunities at the moment … I don’t have to worry about sitting around the house and doing nothing, because I’m training to run a 5 mile run in November, I’m getting certified to teach Zumba on Sunday, and I’ve been filling out grad school applications and studying for the MATs.

Life is “in limbo” at the moment … some days are great, and others are terribly slow and boring – but, I’m lucky enough to have amazing people in my life to help me through those slow / boring days, and put a smile on my face.

It’s time to live my life how I see fit, and I’m going to work my butt off to get where I want to be.  I’m taking the negative aspects of the past year of my life and using them to push me to do bigger and better things.

This is my life … In Progress